The phrase Keep Yourself Positive is often use very loosely and it could be little confusing to understand, especially when it is associated with our life.
Most of the research shows, negative is more powerful than positive. So often human beings get impacted by negative events/ thinking than by positive events and incidents. Negativity is strong and it largely hijacks how we feel, think, and act.
We could overcome this feeling by filling it up with positive thinking bit being positive could be a difficult task for anybody. For instance we are clueless to this simple question ‘what qualities I should have to be positive? Or ‘how could I control negative thoughts”
If so then we must define the word ‘Positive’. It means ‘well being’ and we need to establish well being in certain areas of our lives which could be easily understood by the acronym: PERMA which includes…
- P= Positive Emotions
- E= Engagement
- R= Relationship
- M= Meaningful
- A= Achievement/ Accomplishment
However we must agree, to achieve ‘well being’ we must understand the process closely. Let’s take an example to understand the process better.
Imagine you want to loose weight. What are the simple steps you would follow?
- Join a gym
- Follow the coach
- Balance you nutrient level
- Do exercise
- First learn the correct moves and
- Then repeat those exercises in its correct form
Finally when you follow this regimen for a period of time (4-6 months) you would be able to achieve visible changes in yourself. Everybody else could also see the change in you and you will be flooded with compliments. In fact even to maintain that change you need to follow \the same regime.
Similarly keeping ourselves positive is for our mental health and even this need a regime which must be followed in the same manner for a period of time to have visible change.
To achieve a certain level of ‘mental well being’ and to retain that level, we must do some activities which need to be practiced just like our physical activities.
Our physical fitness plan often comprises of a series of exercise targeting different body parts. Similarly ‘PERMA’: model of positivity, are the five targeted areas identified for mental well being.
- Positive Emotions
What
Emotions are not static. Usually they are driven by situation. So if I ask you ‘how do you feel’ you will respond as per your mood which is dependent on the situation. Emotion is never static.
How
So ‘what is it that makes us feel good?’ it is an important part of this factor. We must focus on situations to have positive emotions so that you could experience them often. However many of us has the tendency of expecting worst but we could certainly cultivate positive thinking which helps us to create opportunities for positive emotions.
- Engagement
What
It is common to feel bored and this could only be replaced by an activity which would engage us constructively. The power of the activity should be such, that you could completely absorb yourself in that. This state is termed as ‘flow’.
How
To be in the state of flow it is important for us to identify and cultivate our personal strengths and talents. When we indulge ourselves in such activities, it increases our confidence, sense of importance, and enhances our mental state.
- RelationshipWhat
Human beings are social animals. Our family, friends, relatives, colleagues, and neighbors are important people of our lives. The positive relationship which we maintain with them decides our well being.
How
Hence it’s extremely important to build strong relationship with these people in our lives. In addition it’s also crucial for us to recognize a healthy and unhealthy relationship and take appropriate action whenever needed. Balance is the key to maintain relationship.
- Meaningful
What
Human beings are capable of thinking big. We can align ourselves for a larger cause which adds value to our life. The cause could be: social, religious, spiritual, political or any other creative cause.
How
It’s good to identify a cause for yourself, connect with people of similar interest and start working towards your goal. This will add meaning to the landscape of your life. However it is equally possible for you to find the same space in your professional and personal life as well.
- Achievement/ Accomplishment
What
We often associate achievement and accomplishment with economics and power but we have also heard elders saying “winning is not everything but participating is important.” Which means the process should also be enjoyed.
How
Set your goal; keep your focus, set milestone for greater success. Along with it develop skills of resilience to handle failure and setbacks. No journey of success is complete without failure and one must keep going. .
In Positive Psychology coaching plays an important role. It always encourages you to identify strength, set goal, and sharpen your strengths to reach your goal. Regular coaching is a great way to accomplish you goal.
Use these Well Being Exercise’ to keep yourself positive.
- Summer Clean Your Life
We keep cleaning our house in almost all the seasons but we forget to do the same activity with our life. Its a goal setting activity for your quarterly goals.
Steps:
- My 3 New DAILY SUCCESS HABITS are:
- My Top 3Goals to “Summer Clean” my Life are: Mention time
- The BENEFITS to Me of My GOALS are: Think of one benefit for each Top 3 goal.
- I will LET GO of: You might want to let go of; limiting beliefs, bad habits, energy zappers, someone in your life or something else!
- My 3 KEY Action Steps are: Choose one KEY action for each of your Top 3 Goal: Mention time
You could use your creative skills to deign it well and post it in a visible place of your house.
- Your Miracle Diary
We often look for miracles outside our life and forget to look into our lives. So let’s collect those miracles….
Steps: Take a notepad and make entries
- record all the positive, fortunate events, happy coincidences, good luck events, fortunate resolutions
- when things looked bad, but turned out well
- due to this your view about life has changed, could be for the moment or completely transformed your life.
- it could add absolutely any kind of incident: very simple, tiny, ordinary and also different, high impactful.
- Example:
- could write down the name of the people in your life that you are grateful
- their positive qualities,
- and how they have contributed to your life
- what they have done for you.
The miracle diary is a great mood lifter tool when you need a dose of positivity in certain low days of your life.
Note: It a great activity for the children to practice as well.
- The Heart Language
Background: Do you feel stressed and harassed during the day, like you’re always doing things to please others rather than yourself?
- Are you unsure about what it is you really want?
- Do you find yourself doing things you really don’t want to do and continually acting out of obligation?
Part of being an adult is learning to put the needs of others, such as our children or employer, ahead of ourselves. In this process we loose touch with ourselves. If we stop listening to our heart, eventually we won’t recognize it. Then we wonder why our life is so dry and meaningless! We need to re-open the conversation with our heart .
Steps:
When you’re feeling stressed, write two questions to ask yourself:
- “What am I feeling now?”
- “I would like … ?”
Then write down….
- Try to listen (write ) to the first thought – which will be from your heart –– not your head which comes with chatter rationalizing points.
- If the message from your heart is possible and practical – then do it– take a break, call a friend, go for a coffee, move from your desk and shout “Yes!”.
- If this impulse is not realistic– like quitting your job – just note your hearts message until it’s convenient to follow through, but be careful – this habit is life changing!
- Long term: You could also try following your heart and doing one spontaneous thing every day?